PHILOSOPHY-BASHING IS A MUST
The history of the systematic thinking is rather disappointing. Here is a mocking list of major philosophers in history.
Utnapishtim suffered from insomnia. However when he recovered, he kept vigil every night out of mere habit. He thought that the angel of death will come for him only during slumbering. And he was right. He did not sleep, he did not die.
Manu, as the Hindu Noah, also a legendary law giver, makes us understand that philosophy must serve humanity to build a just and merciful society. This idea was not invented by Plato, anyone can explore it as an eternal and universal truth.
Nonetheless, when philosophers require humanity to serve an agenda philosophy, it is always a disaster.
Gilgamesh was bitten by a lion on his shoulder. He bit the lion back. Thus the saying was born that a bite for a bite.
Thoth lied about Heaven, saying that as it is above so it is below. However, Heaven can not be compared to Earth. This world is a boot camp at best, a place mostly of sweat and tears, suffering and bloodshed. And Hell is worse than death.
Nimrod built a high tower to survive the next flood. The flood did not come, so he decided to put the tower to use as a scaling ladder to besiege Heaven. The ladder happened to be too short. Nimrod fell down from the ladder.
Hammurabbi thought that the law must be tough, almost merciless. He did not realize that real life is even tougher. Nonetheless, he could not have cared less. He was a tough guy and a psychopath.
Abraham felt at the end that being a forefather of multiple nations is too much of a burden to bear, so he said good bye without hesitation and never came back. Nonetheless, even his memory is blessed.
Moses was probably an Egyptian Pharaoh himself, trained in the Amun Temple of Karnak. He was also a military genius winning all the battles he fought. Opposing the slavery system in Egypt, deducting it from the 42 questions of the Book of the Dead Moses created a simplified Law to free humanity. In order to save it for the future he entrusted the slaves to keep the Law for ever and guard it with their own lives. The slaves became a free nation, and the Almighty God keeps blessing them when they stick to the Law.
Lao Ce gained weight in order to resemble the shape of the Sun. When he realized that the Sun is an illusion, he disappeared from Earth.
Buddha lost his hair to fungus, thus he perfected himself by entering into the realm of the almost eternal baldness. He predicted that his hair will grow back 2500 years later.
Socrates had a beard, but he did not have a barber. It was not like that never, only since he had made conscious decisions. He said that “I do not go to barbers, because I can trim my own beard, and better to keep things simple. The second reason is that barbers talk too much and I can not stand that.”
Plato understood close to nothing regarding the issues Socrates never talked about. And it was like almost everything. He did not have any idea of the extent of his not-knowing.
Diogenes would have become a chronic alcoholic, however the barrel, in which he lived, was already empty. Thus he stayed as a social drinker, moderate and restrained barbarian.
Aristotle is the king of the asses, the chief donkey among zebras, who deliberately and premeditatedly sold his soul for gold to buy a school.
Alexander The Great was not a philosopher, however the world would be a better place today if he had been one, never leaving high school to kill millions, to die young and to leave his blood stained empire in the hands of his brutal generals, even worse than him.
Jesus, according to Robert Graves, very likely was the Son of Herod Antipater, and was a populist politician. He often rallied in the market place of Jerusalem. He made long speeches before large audiences. Newcomer pilgrims used to ask, who speaks. It was told that Jesus cries.
Seneca was great, Seneca was good, but he was the teacher of a monster, Emperor Nero.
Allegedly, he had an other monster student, Saul of Tarsus. The Emperor Nero gave the final order to general Vespasian to crash the Jewish revolt, and to destroy the building of the Temple, meanwhile Saul of Tarsus, a Roman citizen, attacked the core ideas of Judaism.
The Apostle Paul was complicit in mass murdering, torturing and imprisoning of innocent people. He was an inquisitor, a liar, an apostate and an embarrassment. His sins are not forgiven. Meanwhile he attempted to justify his actions by appealing to the experience of his encounter with Jesus (whom he met on the road leading to Qumran), he mixed stoicism with Merkabah mysticism and first century gnosticism. From this cauldron of enchanted seduction was Christianity born, as a pseudo religion, an agenda burdened antithesis of Judaism.
Adi Shankara successfully reinvented the wheel, regarding the samsara, claiming together with the Upanishads, that God is one, and everything else is zero. Nonetheless, God’s one and everything else’s zero are two (digits), but this is an illusion, as the zero ultimately does not exist. And this illusion, called maya, is the reality we live, based on one and zero.
Maimonides was obsessed with Aristotle. People are often judged because of their friends. Philosophers are often judged because of their obsessions. Maimonides is judged because of his obsession with Aristotle, the head donkey of the donkeys of all times.
Thomas Aquinas was not really an Aristotle clone, rather a reincarnation of him. Normally there should be a little positive development between two consecutive incarnations, however Aristotle-Thomas hardly got any chance for any improvement as a Dominican friar. Being a Catholic at that time meant regarding real philosophy or eventually science like being a hilly-billy drunkard somewhere in rural Montana, far away from any real education center.
The legacy of Martin Luther is a wooden bridge between ages, rotten from mold, leading nowhere, destined to collapse under the load.
Ulrich Zwingli was an honest man and originally a Catholic priest, but very soon he became an influential Protestant leader in Swiss. He maintained that decisive battles must be fought on the battlefields, swords in hands. Maybe he should have stayed behind his desk.
John Calvin is used to be called an axe murderer in certain circles, but it is a little exaggeration. Nonetheless, only a little. It is hardly believable, that also the Reformation burned people at the stake, occasionally.
Giordano Bruno was a brave prophet, having the merits to be for ever praised as a homo sapiens sapiens, a true intellectual, an archetype of the real philosopher, despising death and despots, rejecting hypocrisy and mythology.
Thomas Hobbs is a war hero, fighting simultaneously Leviathan and Behemoth, almost every single day. Occasionally he left the battlefield in an organized manner in order to regroup and strike back. Finally he got a stroke and at that time he left for Heaven.
John Locke is anti-Robin-Hood, a shameless crime ridden thief, robbing the homeless and the slaves. He was a misunderstood fake prophet of property and money.
Baruch Spinoza was a true blessing. Died too early, exiled even from cemetery. A noble soul, one of the greatest philosophers ever lived. His sins, if he had any, are forgiven.
David Hume original name was Home. He left home for attending the University of Edinburgh at the age of 10 as rumor has it. He had more sense than most of the students, because he never graduated, but asserted that the professors were all donkeys. Later he suffered from scurvy and depression. Both problems were cured by drinking half a litre of Bordeaux wine daily. Considering the general condition of medicine in Scotland at that time, it might have been a wise decision of a real philosopher.
Kant always wanted to become an astronomer, but he decided to wait until humanity will invent better telescopes. In his infinite spare time he tried to solve puzzles, but he did not succeed. Still, he became a great inspiration for the truth seekers, because he was perseverant.
Rousseau was a domesticated animal who occasionally dreamt in color.
Time to time he was released from the leash, and he went wild, imagining that he is free.
Adam Smith became an atheist and an idolater when he abandoned empathy and moral philosophy for the sake of the market place. True betrayal of the true purpose of the philosophy. He should have rather retired into a Scottish bar instead of publishing evil books after he left Glasgow for France and Swiss.
Voltaire was a broad thinker and a prolific writer, who rationally believed that God does exist, though he also said that the institutionalized religions are usually political institutions. In his attacks he was almost very right regarding in his criticism of Christianity. However, he was a blatant antisemite and a vocal racist, mocking black people all the time. He should have read the Bible more frequently.
Thomas Jefferson is one of the best thing ever happened on Earth after the era of Colombus. Even he had a lot of flaws. When he joined John Adams, together they had profoundly less flaws than one by one.
Hamilton was an incarnation of the darkest angel of greed, pure evil like a pitch black diamond with a charcoal core. May his memory be erased.
Hegel started as a rolling chair revolutionary, discrete and polite, like a Lutheran clergyman. Living for a while as an unsalaried professor, he fought his own poverty by writing books out of financial necessity. He should rather not have done that, as his works are worth of two punctured groschens, though he sold his books for gold.
Schopenhauer was color blind in his mind. Some people are able to distinguish colors differenciating between black and white only. He was not among them either. He could see the shades of the gray only, like the whole universe, with its whole playfulness and dramas, evolving from tragedy into comedy and vice versa, would have been generally converted into greyscale.
Kirkegaard was a physically and mentally sick person, writing sick philosophy too, exhorting biased theology, being a brainwashed and depressed victim of the Lutheran Orthodoxy. The best thing to do regarding his works is just ignoring it. Eclectic and voluminous garbage. Waste of time and paper too.
Karl Marx is a criminal. All revolutionary master minds who persuade people that problems will be solved only by bloodshed, are criminals. Maybe he is not responsible for everything what happened in the aftermath, but he is guilty as charged. He is not a philosopher but an ideologist.
Freud was afraid of the dark, demons chased him every night till dawn. Then he usually ordered an emperor breakfast.
Jung accidentally turned psychology into an occult philosophy, and he called it destiny. The best description of his legacy that it is a colloquial and syncretic blasphemy.
Nietsche must be forgotten like a possessed nightmare. It is hardly perceivable why a madman should have a voice in the council of the wise. The will is not only not enough to mend the world, but it destroys it.
Aldous Huxley was a non-repenting Hollywood optimist, believing in the certainty that the world will eventually cease to exist sooner or later, and it is for the better. At least he was a vegan out of principle and out of respect of Krishnamurti.
Heidegger was a nervous but enthusiastic assistant in a butcher shop, as a very member of the Nazi Party. He should have been heavily disciplined after the war. With some hesitations he was cleared by the authorities in the year of 1951. He was allowed to continue to teach as a professor at the Freiburg University until 1967. Heidegger never apologized for anything, no regrets of him, as it is a clear sign of a sociopath.
Sartre had a dilemma since birth regarding glasses or no glasses when somebody is forced to read Shakespeare in secret. To be or not to be a real question of existentialist thinkers, except that any possible answer is meaningless to them and the method of looking for answers is irrelevant, unless God intervenes. It is impossible, because God does not exist, they say, thus everybody must fight for himself.
Nonetheless, they all get it wrong, and Sartre is wrong too, because God does exist and also perpetually intervenes.
Albert Einstein was on the right path to simplify the universe from infinite to one, from the galaxies into the singularity. It is not too hard to conceive, that the singularity is everything. The beginning and the end, the alpha and the omega or rather the aleph and the tav.
Noah Chomsky’s good intentions should be well received. Nonetheless, he speaks too much, and that is a deal-breaker. However, when there is no need to have a deal, he is great as a trench digger.
VERSUS PAUL 